


Sans' New Car

by Monochroma



Series: Weird shit I come up with in the shower [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mentions of other Undertale characters - Freeform, Oh God Yes, Other, The Author Regrets Nothing, This will be beautiful, but like i also love this, thanks i hate it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29599422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monochroma/pseuds/Monochroma
Summary: Sans and Papyrus find a weird car in their driveway on the surface
Relationships: Sans/ Car
Series: Weird shit I come up with in the shower [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2174631
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	Sans' New Car

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this bullshit.

So Sans is having a relatively normal day so far, right? 

Wake up at like, 11:30 pm, teleport face first into the dining table, ignore his brother’s scolding, eat halfway decent brunch spaghetti (Papyrus had been watching youtube cooking tutorials online), praise his cooking -while cracking his awesome puns of course-, sprawl out on the couch for a couple hours, contemplating the meaning of life, get bored, go to Grillby's afterward and chug some ketchup while slinging even more puns at people (mostly at the notoriously _hot_ bartender), go home, read Papyrus his bedtime story, and then teleport face first into his mattress. 

So a perfectly normal day. 

The next day however, was very _abnormal_ , to be honest. 

He was woken up to yelling, much earlier than he’d prefer. And someone was vigorously poking their finger at his cheekbone, making his head loll to the side before rolling back into place.

It was Papyrus, who else would it be?

“SANS WAKE UP! SANS! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE-” 

“‘m up, ‘m up, you….you can stop now” Sans’ voice was husky with sleeping in, slurring and stumbling over words. “what is it bro?” 

The Great Papyrus loomed over him in all of his tall glory in his jogging outfit. A gloved finger positioned right at Sans’ cheekbone ready to poke the hell out of him. He immediately pulled it back to his side awkwardly. Sans pretended not to notice for his brother's sake. 

“UM, SANS?” 

Sans only tilted his head a bit, still not fully up yet. “yes bro?” 

“THERE! IS SOMETHING! I NEED TO SHOW YOU!” Papyrus’ tone was a mix of confusion and excitement. What was going on exactly? 

“wha-” Papyrus ignored him and wasted no time picking him up, slinging him over his shoulders like a discarded sack, and sprinting out of the house. 

He carefully set him down in their well manicured lawn, right next to their mailboxes, and turned him in the direction of whatever set him off. 

_what the…._

It was a car. A small, roofless, neon blue buggy. It had a giant red bow on it with a card sticking out that read ‘For Sans the Skeleton’ written in cursive. 

_huh. that's definitely not normal._

“SANS YOU GOT A CAR! YOU! GOT A CAR! THIS IS GREAT! NOW YOU CAN GET RID OF THAT STUPID TRICYCLE AND TRULY RIDE IN STYLE!” 

Oh, he did _not_ just insult the tricycle. He knows Papyrus is his brother and all and sure, he loves him, but some lines must not ever be crossed. 

“you’d think i’d be _auto_ -ly delighted at this, but i could _car_ less. i can feel the wind in my hair just fine thank you very much” 

“NYEGHHHHHH! SANS! NO PUNS! NOPE! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Papyrus shrieks indignantly at his brother, “SANS! YOU HAVE A DRIVER’S LICENCE FOR A REASON! USE IT FOR ASGORE’S SAKE!” 

“ugh. ok, fine, but only for you bro” Sans shuffled over to the car and peered inside. It was a two seater. He opened the door and slid inside, easily fitting comfortably in the Sans sized car seats. 

Like, he knows he has a lot of friends, but who in their right mind would give him a car like this. Alphys? I mean he could definitely see Alphys being the one behind this, or maybe Asgore or something. I mean he did have a right to be a bit suspicious after all, it was being given to him of all monsters.

There were cup holders filled with a couple of new ketchup bottles. He picked one up only to see it was a limited edition. They all were. Tempting, but still a bit suspicious if you asked him. 

The car key was in the passenger seat. He picked it up, and it seemed normal enough. Then, with less hesitation, put the key in and started the car. 

The car started to rumble and purr as the engine started, and it would have been perfectly normal too.

_huh? is….is the car getting taller?_

Oddly enough, he was slowly rising up with the car in his seat until it suddenly stopped when his body was just above his bro’s head. Speaking of his bro….

“SANS.” His brother was flabbergasted. 

“hm?”

“YOUR CAR HAS LEGS.” 

…

_wut?_

“WHY DOES YOUR CAR HAVE LEGS SANS?” 

_wait what say what again? the car has what?!_

His eyelights shrunk as he looked over the side, and to his astonishment, there was, in fact, a pair of _neon yellow humanoid legs_ in the place of where the wheels were. 

Oh sweet jeebus lord. Kid come kill him now. 

And then, while his brother began to have a figurative aneurysm, he was enlightened. 

Screw the stupid tricycle. He has a car with legs now. All will fear him and his car. It even has free ketchup, how could he reject this beautiful mistake- 

And then, came the puns. 

“heh….heheheheh… I really got a _leg up_ on this one” …

Poor Papyrus only shook even harder.

Eventually, Sans decided he was going to enlighten the world with his new way of life. 

“lets go, you wonderful abomination, we're gonna traumatize some children today”

At that point, humans and monsters alike could only look on in horror, as the thing crawl stomped its way up the street that day.

**Author's Note:**

> My back hurts. Ow.


End file.
